Episode 76: When God Gives You Lemons

Welcome to Wisdom from the Aerial View,

the podcast [music] for those who wish

to crush anxiety

and find meaning and purpose in their

lives. Hello, Doc. How are you doing

today?

>> I'm doing great, Inna. It's always great

to talk with you and to see you.

>> It's always great to talk and see you.

Talk to and see you.

You know, I wanted to talk to you today

about something that you know nothing

about. I know we never

rehearse these things. You don't know

what's coming out of my got my mouth.

And then when if it's not a slang or a

curse, it's something interesting. But I

want to talk to you a little bit today

about a couple of things. I read a very

interesting piece

about a professional basketball player.

I'm not a basketball fan, although I'm

rooting for the Knicks.

And his name is Anthony Edwards.

Now, this is a story that happened a

while back. And in fact, it happened at

the beginning of May, on Mother's Day.

And I I just wanted to

talk a little bit about it cuz I have an

idea about what we should talk about.

And he talked about the fact that his

mother died

uh several years ago.

And how she was never far from his

memory.

And it said this is from the the uh The

Athletic.

It says, "What Whatever pain remains

from losing her 11 years ago,

whatever motivation he mines from her

impact, remains locked away behind his

rollicking aura.

He doesn't talk about the great trauma

he endured at 14

and still carries at 24.

But on Sunday, the Minnesota

Timberwolves star spoke to his mother

with something greater than words.

The toughness she bequeathed him.

The belief she poured into him.

The appreciation

she taught him.

Edwards' competitiveness has long been

established. Sunday, though,

Mother's Day, his fuel came from a

special source.

He deemed the occasion worthy of turning

private hurt

into public proclamation.

"I just wanted to win for my mom."

he said.

It was that simple.

People across America celebrated their

mothers with breakfast in bed and brunch

dates, flowers and candy, gifts and

adventures, hugs and quality time.

Edwards, meanwhile, connected with the

void that can't be filled,

thinking all day about his mother, who

died from cancer on January 5th, 2015.

His gift to her,

victory, his first career win

on Mother's Day.

He represented millions who find hurt on

this holiday.

He proved that the pain that never

leaves can transform into an internal

fire.

His performance and his story

illustrated how resilience can be the

best form of remembrance.

For Edwards, Sunday marked 4,144

days since he lost his mother.

But Edwards' dedication to the win for

his mom following a series-saving

performance reminded me of truths I

needed to reclaim.

That sorrow can also inspire.

That a new normal will eventually

arrive. That trauma and the tears they

bring don't have to extinguish joy,

which is rooted in knowledge and

conviction.

That making someone you love proud

fulfills you

even when they're gone.

So, why did I want to talk about this

today?

For a lot of different reasons. Number

one, I think

we ought to be more thankful about a lot

of things. We ought to be thankful to

our mothers.

And we ought to be resilient.

And just the notion that this young man,

and he's 24, is still thinking about his

mother 4,000 days later,

but bringing joy to the fact that even

though she's gone, you and I talk about

in fact, just before we got on, we

talked to we're not going to die, but we

all do die. There's no question about

it. But it's how we remember those

when they are die when they are dead.

So, why did I want to talk about this

today? I don't know. I just thought it

was a lovely story

and a lovely way to talk about the

things we should be thankful for, this

being Thanksgiving. Oh wait, it's not

Thanksgiving.

>> [laughter]

>> But every day should be Thanksgiving,

shouldn't it?

>> Every day is Thanksgiving.

>> So, I just wanted to talk about this and

about

the struggle that we have. Sometimes we

talk about grief, you and I do, and you

say that we shouldn't really grieve. And

he doesn't. He turned his grief into

joy. So,

I don't know, just wanted to talk about

that.

>> That's great. I love the story. You

know, for him, he lost his mother at 14.

Now, we lost our mothers, but you know,

we were much older. We were grown-ups.

Losing your mother at 14, that's really

tough. And um

I admire the guy. I I know he is. I

follow basketball somewhat. Uh I don't

know anything about this, obviously. I'm

going to guess he's not alone in the NBA

or in the professional ranks of

young men who have lost their mother at

a young age. So,

I think it's great that he remembers

her. I think he's playing for her, but I

think it's even better that he has

uh

taken that

the what would would have been grief and

the memories of his mother and

constructed something quite positive,

which is exactly what you're supposed to

do or what you should do. So, bravo to

him. Um

uh it's it's I'm sure it's makes his

life

I mean, imagine this. So, you have a guy

like that loses mother at 14, obviously

very talented athlete.

>> Yes.

>> Uh she more has she had inspired him

enough to keep him going so that he

didn't quit playing basketball. He

didn't just throw up his hands, and

you know, drop out of school, join a

gang, whatever a lot of young men could

do at that age with who have no no

mother. But, he didn't, right? So,

whatever she taught him during those 14

years stuck.

And he kept going, and now he's created

quite a quite a life for himself, and

he's only 24. I mean, he's a kid still,

right?

>> Yeah.

>> Uh so, I give him a lot of credit for

that, mostly for the realization that

that taking a memory and your lessons

from your mother

and and not letting the the absence make

you a victim and say, "Oh God, I'll What

now? What am I going to do? I'm all

alone."

>> Right.

>> Like, what am I going to do? So, I give

him a lot of credit. You know You know

my story. Um

Not quite his story, but you know, my

dad got sick when I was 19.

Uh and I always say People say, "Well,

how you know, when did he die?" And I

say that he died the day that he found

that he had cancer.

Cuz that's really what happened. He Yes,

he had surgery. He had a He had mostly

downs, a lot of hospitalizations, a

short period of ups, just a few months,

when he felt actually okay enough, but

he never felt great.

And it the whole thing took 18 months,

and that was it. And so,

uh at age of 19, I learned about this,

and 18 months later, he was gone. I

think I just turned 21. Or I was 21 and

a half, something like that. Uh and my

mother,

because we had no money, uh had to sell

our house

to have money to live on, and then she

actually moved to another state.

So, 21, I was com- I was completely on

my own. Um and when I say completely on

my own, I'm not kidding. There was no

safety net. There was no "Oh, if it

doesn't work out, I can always go home."

There was no home to go to. Uh

There was nobody to pick up to pay my

bills if things didn't work out. It was

just That was it, you know? So, who

thought Who saw that coming? I mean, you

knew me as a kid, and you know, did you

ever think, "Oh, that's what's going to

happen to Mark"? No, of course not. It's

unforeseeable. Um

And so at that point uh uh

I had a choice, right? I could

kind of fall apart and

and just wander aimlessly and hope for

the best and my dad even told me before

he died that I wouldn't be able to go to

medical school because we didn't have

any money.

So, which is true. I didn't have we

didn't have any money. Uh but well

medical school was the least of it. I

don't need money now. How am I going to

pay my bills and I worked every summer I

worked during um times I worked actually

for a couple of years before I went to

medical school, got some money

and then went to medical school, was

very fortunate to get a scholarship that

covered my tuition. I had to

then I I worked jobs to

to uh I borrowed money and I I worked

some jobs to be able to pay my way

through. So, but nothing compared to

what I what he went through. This is

nothing. He was 14. I was you know, at

that point 21. Big difference.

Um, so the point is you have a choice.

And it's funny I think I've also told

you this Cindy, that never in my life

did I ever think it wasn't going to work

out. Never. Never ever ever did I think

it wasn't going to work out. And I'm

sure people who will look at me

thinking, "Oh, this is not going to work

out.

>> [laughter]

>> Forget it. He's He's never going to

medical school. Who knows what's going

to become of him?" But um

but from my vantage point, it was like I

was

you know, I I miss my dad and I yes, I'm

by myself and my mother wasn't a

position to help me at all.

Uh she had enough trouble keeping her

head above water. So, um

but you know, my attitude was it would

all work out. I don't I don't know how.

I don't exactly know why, but I just

always assumed it would. So, you we have

a choice. We have a choice in our lives.

And when we talk you said I don't you

know, believe in grieving grieving or or

but that's not what you meant to say. I

know what you meant to say that that you

grieve for a short period and then you

move on.

>> Right. Right. Exactly.

>> You definitely move on because you're

missing the point if you don't. So, I

read an article today too. So, what do

you think of that?

>> Oh, I didn't even know you could read.

Go on.

>> I can read and it was very timely

amazingly enough.

>> Okay.

>> You know, this is what I call a Franklin

Rock moment when the mystery of the

universe is suddenly and unexpectedly

revealed. Something happens, you go,

"Whoa, that's quite a coincidence."

Except, you know,

>> Uh-huh.

>> probably not. And I read an article

written by a doctor, a retired woman

doctor,

who um

had lost her who has her husband had had

a knee replacement surgery a month

earlier

and it was doing fine and suddenly had a

pulmonary embolus 4 weeks later and

died.

>> Oh.

>> And you know, for her it was a tragedy.

I'm going to guess at that point he was

in his 60s. She doesn't really say, but

trying to put put the pieces together,

I'm going to guess somewhere in that

ballpark. So, not 14, you know, not not

very young, but not super old.

And she wrote this article. It was very

heartfelt, but she didn't write the

article like Anthony Edwards. She's not

quite handled this grief and it didn't

happen yesterday. This I'm going to say

it's at least a couple of years it's a

couple of years, right? I think she

mentioned it was a couple of years and

I'm thinking,

"Okay now, you know,

this isn't you you know, I'm not I don't

tell people what to do, but it's just

not a great idea, right? So, you can

remember like Anthony Edwards did and

celebrate his mother and do things to in

her honor. So, if for him winning a game

was a way for him to to honor her.

Probably because he knows that would

have made her super happy,

>> Sure.

>> So, I think that's great, you know, it's

um

if that's what if that's your gift to

somebody you want to do something work

as hard as you can to do something,

that's fantastic. This woman on the

other hand was not was not nearly over

it.

>> What do you mean? Was she What was she

still grieving? What was she doing?

>> still grieving in a lot of ways, yes.

And I was thinking, "Okay, it's 2

years." Now, again, I don't want to

sound harsh. Sometimes I

even when I listen to myself I think,

"That's a little harsh." But it's not

meant to be harsh. It's meant to say

everybody has an every life is

individual. You know, it's like the

Kraft American cheese every you slice is

individually wrapped. That's how life

is. So, we we we attach with other

people, but in the end it's a in the end

it's a solo journey

during which you you interact with many

many many many people who help you, who

you create these relationships. So, I

don't want to say you always want to

stay in your wrapper. No, you got to get

out of your wrapper, but at the end of

the day it's it's a solo journey and and

you use these interactions and these

relationships and these events in your

life to create the life that to create

that story of your life to write that

novel that is your story of your life.

And so

you remember, you embrace, but you don't

grieve. You grieve as short a time as

you possibly can. Now, for some people

it could be a month, some people might

be 6 months, but

whatever it is, try and keep it as short

as you possibly can cuz it detracts from

your mission.

Just because you lose somebody doesn't

mean your your mission is now forgiven.

That You know what? Sorry, you've had a

tough time. You know, you

[clears throat] don't have to complete

your mission. No. Everybody has to

complete their mission as best they can.

So,

so relationships are going to come and

relationships going to go and some are

super important like your parents or

your spouse or your best friend or

whatever, your relatives,

but you we talked about how all

relationships are important and some are

clearly more more important and more

special to you.

And you have to view them from the

context from the

perspective of the aerial view that that

they aren't just like you own a certain

number of records from in the jukebox of

time from the moment you're born to the

day you die. That's called your lifespan

all those records are your lifespan.

They too have their lifespan. They too

start on a record and end on a record.

That's their lifespan. Your lifespan and

their lifespan interact for a certain

amount of period of time. It could be

minutes, it could be years or many many

years depending on whether it's your

parent, spouse, but whatever.

But they do but these are separate

events. These are separate lifespans.

And so you can't you you you are not

relieved of your responsibility to

fulfill your mission in your lifespan,

no matter what happens in terms of loss.

So, the sooner you can get over grief,

the better for you, the better

to move you forward along the the path

that you are required to take in your

life.

>> But the other thing I liked about the

article was that he pays tribute to his

mother

all the time. His mother's always with

him. And I thought about you know that

Marco always about that

nothing ever ends. We we have the

jukebox of time. And so, his mother, in

many respects, is still with him.

>> Of course.

>> don't diminish. Yeah.

>> Of course, but what he's doing is

different than grieving.

>> Yes.

>> He's not saying, you know, I can't play

ball tonight, guys. I'm just too sad.

Right?

>> Right.

>> He's saying, I can't have any more

relationships cuz I'm just too sad.

There's no point in my living my life

cuz I'm just too sad. He doesn't do any

of that. He says, I embrace my mother. I

cherish my mother. I cherish those

moments we had together. And as you

know, we are still having together.

That's the way the world works. Those

moments never are extinguished. They're

always alive and active. So, he's he's

embracing them and using them to to move

himself forward in in his life. And he's

only 24. So, I look at a guy like that.

I don't know anything about him other

than what you've told me in the little

bit I've watched him in the past. And

assuming that's really his uh

his trajectory in his life and that's

truly his attitude, he's going to have a

fantastic life. Right?

>> Yeah.

>> Cuz he's got something very important

figured out. He understands you take

what you've been given from your

relationships, incorporate the good ones

into the good parts into your life,

reject the bad parts, and move forward

along your own individual path. And use

those things also to impact other

people. So, at 24, he's probably already

impacted many people. And hopefully, he

will have the chance to impact many,

many, many, many more in a positive way

using the lessons he learned from his

mother. So, he's he's got it right. I

mean, as far as that article, I don't as

much as we know about him, that's

>> great. Good for him. Right? Good for

him.

>> Let me go back to you for a minute

because the story of your dad is is

really a remarkable story.

So, he dies and you and your mother and

your sister are left now what do we do?

And so there's a resolution that your

mother had and that was to leave and to

do whatever and then you were left to to

make a a choice, not a right one or a

wrong one, but a choice. What do I do?

How did you at the age It doesn't matter

if you're

14 or 21, how do you in your own head

rationalize what do I do? How do I make

the choice? What choice am I going to

make? And at the time, did you really

think that there is really no wrong

choice? I'm just going to make a choice.

>> Well, I was I I always knew I wanted to

go to medical school, but it was far

away at this point. I mean, I had a

college degree.

Uh

I had no money. Uh I hadn't gotten into

medical school the first time around. As

I told you cuz I was protesting the

Vietnam War and that didn't go over too

well with the guy who wrote the letter

of recommendation, but that's okay. That

worked out absolutely fantastically

also. It gave me time to spend a year

with my father when he was ill. I worked

in a hospital. I'd go from the hospital

I worked in as an orderly, which is a

basically the lowest level person in the

hospital, uh to go to his hospital. He

was in the hospital a lot in those days.

We don't do that anymore, but he was in

the hospital a lot. So, I was I was in

one of two hospitals almost all the

time.

And so in terms of my choice, the

question you're asking me, I don't I

didn't look at it as a choice.

I never thought, "Hmm, what should I

have thought?" I just knew A, I had to

continue along my my road and pursue

what I wanted to do

and I would figure it out. Like I said,

it never entered my mind that it wasn't

going to work out. I would just figure

out a way to do it. You know, I would

just whatever it took, I was just going

to do it. Failure, it's not that failure

wasn't an option, it was that failure

never entered my mind. It never ever

ever entered my mind. I never thought it

wasn't going to work out. And I don't

know where that came from. I wasn't a

particularly tough kid. I was the

smallest kid in our school as you know,

or pretty close. I was the youngest

Yeah, so smallest guy, right. Smallest

guy and the second youngest I believe.

Um

and so people in our grade were a year

and a half older than me. Um

And so

>> rubbing it in that I'm that much older

than you. Keep going.

>> Well, anyway, so here but this was the

story of my

The reason I say this is cuz I wasn't

some kind of super tough captain of the

football team who you know could handle

anything. No, I was just you know

you know small kid who um

you know, who was always always never

saw myself as particularly strong or

mentally tough for sure. Never thought

of myself as mentally tough ever. But

here I was

Oh, well, if I wasn't going to be

mentally tough, what was I going to do?

So I didn't know I had to become

mentally tough. You know, I describe

that period of time and I'm not looking

for sympathy, believe me, but is if

somebody pushed me off a 100-ft uh

platform into ice-cold water. That's how

I envision that moment. It was such a It

was the turning point of my life. It was

You know, when somebody says, you know,

when does your childhood end and your

adulthood begin? Most people say, well,

I don't know, probably around this

I can tell you the second it happened.

It was when we got the phone call from

the house where my dad had passed away.

That's when it happened. That's when I

went from being a kid somebody taking

care of me, looking after me

to being And and I was I was 21 at the

time. I wasn't a kid by people really

taking care of me, but the whole idea

that I had you know, you know, family to

support me and somebody to count on. And

then that was the end. That was it. From

that I got pushed off the cliff into the

cold water with God saying, "Good luck.

I hope you know how to swim." Right? And

you know, I had a few months a few tough

months where I had a tremendous anxiety,

panic attacks.

You know, uh

but I just

did it and I look back now and I realize

that um I went from being the person who

I thought needed help to the person who

was going to spend his entire life

helping other people.

Right? That was a That was the

transition. And so

>> it a conscious decision?

>> No, of course not. Who volunteers for

that?

>> I don't know. I don't know.

>> Nobody volunteers for that, right? Or I

maybe some people. I mean, there are

some brave people like people going to

the military today's, you know, we have

to be

you know, a moral day period and so

there are people who are very brave and

do volunteer for that, but I wasn't one

of them. Honestly, at that point. I was

not particularly courageous.

Uh but you know, this is what happens.

God pushes you off a cliff, you end up

in the icy cold water, then you got to

sink or swim. And why would you know, to

me there wasn't ever an option that

which you I think I'll just sink. No,

I'm not going to sink. I'm going to

swim. I don't know how. I have no idea

what I'm doing. I'm flying by the seat

of my pants.

And there were moments where I thought,

"Oh God." I remember I'll tell you a

story about about that. Um I was

I now it's a couple of years later. I'm

in medical school and I have no money,

right? So I I um I get the scholarship

fortuitously for the tuition. I borrow

money from a bank for my living expenses

and I combine that with working over the

summer and working on between the, you

know, the vacation periods in medical

school of Christmas and so on. So

it So my I lived in a tiny little uh

studio apartment in uh basement

apartment in Brooklyn in a pretty

you know, so-so area.

Uh so I could afford. And I had gotten a

flat tire. I got nine flat tires in 1

year. That's a true story.

And so now I you know, I had to pay my

bills. I had a car insurance payment. I

had a rent and utilities, whatever. And

I never I didn't buy a single thing cuz

I didn't have other than food cuz I had

no money. I never bought a shirt, a pair

of shoes, nothing. I They were not going

to That was not going to happen.

So I I I I get a flat tire, go buy a new

tire, which is in that point whatever it

was costing those days.

And I you know, okay, fine. I pay for

the tire. I come home. The next morning,

I wake up, the tire is flat. I'm parking

on the street in Brooklyn.

>> What?

>> I think, oh, he gave me He put it on

wrong. It's a faulty tire. So, I change

another tire. And I drive back to the

place, and the guy says, oh, he says, uh

somebody slit your tire.

>> Oh.

>> I look at him and he goes, and that's

you know, that's I can't help you with

that. You know, it's not a faulty tire.

Somebody slit your tire last night with

a knife.

And I look at him and I go, I don't have

any money.

He looks at me and he goes, this is

again, the grace of God, right? He looks

at me and he says,

you know what? Let me Let me submit it

as a warranty that that you hit that

some that there was a something on a

curb and there was a defect in the

sidewall. I'll give you another tire.

>> Mhm.

>> But, that's kindness, right? He He

didn't know me from a hole in the wall.

He didn't have to do that. Yeah. Cool

guy.

You know, there are moments like that

that

you just realize there's something going

on here, right? And then you realize,

okay, you got to remember that. Somebody

treated you with unbelievable kindness

for no good reason.

Okay, you have a debt.

Boom. There's on the ledger there's a

debt. Help as many people as you can cuz

people are helping you, right? So, that

stuck in my mind at that moment. So, I

think getting back to the story of you

know, how we started with the story with

Anthony Edwards, you can take these

moments and just turn them around. Don't

grieve. Don't become a victim. Don't

lament.

>> [snorts]

>> It was always supposed to be this way.

This is the way it were all time It was

always going to happen. I was always

going to lose my father at a young age.

Anthony Edwards was always going to lose

his mother at even a younger age. Okay,

you have a life to live. The clock The

gun goes off, you're born, the gun goes

off. Spend a few years learning how to

talk and walk and things like that, and

then get moving, right? Get moving along

your path.

What Pay attention to the people that

help you. Remember that you don't do

this alone. Your mission is to to as

many people as you can.

And there are going to be people who are

going to help you along the way. So, do

what Anthony Edwards did.

Learn from this experience. Okay, nobody

wants to lose their mother at 14. I

didn't want to lose my my father really

essentially at 19. Nobody wants that.

That's the way the story had to be

written.

What are you going to do about it? You

still have your own individual piece of

slice American cheese that's that you

are, right? You have your own life. You

have to You have to

You are not relieved of responsibility

to fulfill your mission, to become the

best the person of substance who can

make a positive impact on as many people

as possible.

>> So, the article you read about written

by that woman doctor, she obviously

can't put it aside. She can't go on.

And so, in the article does she

almost admit the fact that she's just

still grieving? Or Or what's the purpose

of the article? What What was What was

her point?

>> I think her point was about how to deal

with loss and and memories and

and

you know, thinking about those you

loved. And it was very touching, but I

was actually going to look up her her

contact info cuz I was going to contact

her. I just read this today.

Because

I don't think she's paralyzed. I think

she has moved forward, but you can still

see there's this anchor, right?

>> Yeah.

>> That's holding her down and and it's

I I don't like to say it's wrong. I

don't like to be dogmatic like that. I

don't want to tell people how to behave

and how to feel. But a better way is Let

me just say this a better way for you

and for her and for everybody else.

There's a better way. Take that part. It

was always going to happen. Right? It

was always going to be this way. It's

part of your story. It was always going

to be on page 273. You weren't going to

avoid it.

Okay? So, what are you going to do with

the rest of the pages of your story?

You're going to sit around and think

it could have been so great. My life

could have been something else. We had

We He was going to retire. We had so

much to look forward to. We were going

to travel the world.

Okay, maybe.

Maybe you were, so what? Now your life

is different, it's not worse, it's just

different, right?

>> were in contact with her more,

how would you even approach the sub What

would you say to her? All right, so you

pick up the phone, whatever.

What do you say to someone like that? Do

you say, you know, snap out of it? What

do you say?

>> No, never never say that. I would say,

tell me about your relationship and tell

me about your husband.

And I'd let her talk about him. And I

said, that sounds beautiful.

You know, so

you know,

what What did you think of his life and

your life? What And what did he expect

What did he expect was going to happen?

And And what did he What would he want

for you?

And how would he look at this? Would he

say, yes, think about me all day long,

every day, and you know,

limit your happiness, limit your joy,

always keep a little little sadness in

your heart? Do you think that's what he

would say?

And she's likely to say, of course not.

And I said, okay. Well, you have your

life. You know, your life doesn't end

when some when you're when your loved

one's It sounds terrible. When I hear

myself say these things, it sounds

terrible, but it's just unfortunately

true because we don't under

We have to understand why we're here. We

have to understand the purpose of life,

why we're here, what we're supposed to

do. We have to understand the

perspective, the aerial view that tells

you don't get too caught up in yourself.

Don't get Don't take your own life too

seriously in the sense that it's not all

there is. You're You're You're in very

much in a sense a cog in a wheel. You do

have a purpose. It's You're part of the

greater whole. You are not relieved of

your responsibility. Hold the memories

tight. Smile, think about them, remember

they're still happening. That's why I

talk about the jukebox of time, the fact

that we don't lose We never lose

anybody. Anybody who tells you that we

that that's not true, we lose people,

they're gone, is wrong. Flat-out wrong.

We never lose anybody. How can we if the

moments in the past are just as alive as

the moments now? It's impossible. You

cannot ever lose anybody. You You don't

lose the time you're together. You don't

have the moments together on the records

that you don't share.

You only have the ones that you did

share, but you still have those records

forever. Use them to move you forward.

Use them as an impetus like just like

Anthony Edwards did. What is he doing?

It's It's I won't even say it's genius.

It's more than genius. It's wonderful,

right? Good for him, right? Good Teach

as many people as Anthony Tell as many

people as you can. At 24, you have

figured out something unbelievably

valuable.

It's going to set your life on a

wonderful course, and I guarantee you,

Anthony, that that your words and your

attitude are going to affect so many

people. You are going to initiate a

cascade of events in many people's lives

that will go on and on and affect other

people and other people, and you have no

idea the impact you're going to have on

on the world going forward.

Today, tomorrow, a decade from now, 100

years from now. You This This effect

you're having by doing this is

tremendous. So, good for him for writing

the article. Good for him for for for

talking about his mother way and

embracing her his time together and

using that to move forward and to help

other people move forward. Bravo.

>> So, let me end it with with Anthony cuz

I think it's

valuable.

Edwards works like a man familiar with

struggle, yet smiles like a man who

refuses to be conquered by it.

"The older you get, the more mature you

get," said Edwards, who scored only 44

points. Huh, only 44 points

on that Mother's Day game.

But, they lost. They lost it to Denver

in the playoffs.

When the win that day was secured,

he raised both fists. He had spent all

he had,

and it got the job done.

Mother's Day gift delivered.

After he said all he wanted to say about

his mother,

Edwards shifted the attention

to his teammates and the victory they

earned.

And the depth he possesses, the

complicated essence of the young man who

endured, returned to its private place,

compartmentalized, sanctified even,

where memories of moments and lessons

give him strength and perspective.

And that's where we'll keep it.

Because while losing a mother stains the

heart,

the love a mother lifts the soul.

It's true, isn't it?

He thanked his mother, but he thanked

his teammates. And that's what you said,

it's about relationships, it's about

something larger than ourselves.

>> And his impact by talking to his

teammates, you know, I can

I can tell you what's going to happen.

He brought this to his teammates. You

don't think that impacted some of his

teammates? Of course it did. They're all

the same age in general, right?

They thought about that. What are they

going to do? They're going to

incorporate that some of that into their

lives. Maybe they'll keep them from

making a wrong decision or take a

different course, and maybe they'll tell

somebody else or their kids or their

friends, and this cascade of events that

we create whenever we

make a decision, a choice, or any action

on our part creates this cascade of

events that goes on

in ad infinitum. It goes on and on

because then that person affects the

next generation and so on. It's not just

a this is going to work for a week or a

month or this goes on and on. So, that's

the way the world works. That's why you

can't relinquish your responsibility to

continue along your mission cuz every

decision you make, every choice you

make, every action you take is going to

create this cascade of events that's

going to impact the world going forward.

You can't worry about you can't be stuck

in with memories of the past. You can

embrace them, you can learn from them,

you can love them, they can fill your

heart, and it's okay to feel sad

sometimes. You know, we've lost between

us four parents, right? And we think

about them, right? All the time.

>> All the time.

>> But

the reason I think about my parents is

to be grateful like you are for them and

to take what I've learned and move

forward and create that impact for the

next generation for my kids and my

grandkids

for my [snorts] patients for people I

meet on the street everywhere. That's

that's Anthony that's what Anthony

Edwards is showing people. It's a great

example and it's from a 24 year old who

somehow figured it out.

>> You bet

>> [music]

>> and with that

I thank you for a an interesting

conversation and remember it's always

Mother's Day.

>> And I thank you cuz that was a great

even though you you never tell me what

we're going to talk about you never you

never disappoint. [music]

So thanks Enid and thank you all for

listening. We'll see you next time.

>> Peace.

>> [music]

[music]